happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
