how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Im part way to drunk.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
