Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
