Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
