So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
