guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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