I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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