No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
