Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
