I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she peed on how many people?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
