Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Randomize
