my sisters under your porch take her home
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
