So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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