This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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