I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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