Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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