Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
