What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
