idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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