My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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