Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
