Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Non-Jews are for practice
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
