walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
that may or may not have been my penis.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
