dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He has the fingertips of a God
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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