He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
