sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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