Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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