Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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