So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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