i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Oh god it's open bar.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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