Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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