good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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