she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
