everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
