I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
