My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
