well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
