His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
