I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
