Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
