He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
