Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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