if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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