Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
