That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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