hell yes lets make some ravioli
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
