I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
