Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
