this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
