He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
