What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
