the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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